Living in the U.S. as an International Student

When I first told people I was moving to the United States for school, the reaction was almost always the same: “Wow, that’s so exciting!”

They weren’t wrong. I was excited. But what no one warned me about was that the hardest part of being an international student in the U.S. isn’t the schoolwork. It’s everything else.

The Myth of “You’ll Be Fine”

People assume that once you get accepted into a U.S. university, the hardest part is behind you. But the truth is, the academic piece is often the easiest. Writing papers, studying late, cramming for exams, that’s predictable.

What’s unpredictable? Trying to set up a bank account when the teller asks for documents you didn’t know you needed. Filling out medical forms where none of the terms make sense. Being told you need a “social security number” for everything from housing applications to cell phone plans, something you don’t actually have.

From China to the U.S.: A New Layer of Culture Shock

By the time I came to the U.S., I wasn’t new to living abroad. I had already spent eight years in China, long enough to know what culture shock feels like, how long it takes to adapt, and how to find little pockets of home in unexpected places.

And still, America was different. The cultural codes here weren’t the same as the ones I had learned in China, and they certainly weren’t the same as the ones I grew up with. The way people joke, the way classrooms run, even the way friendships form. It all required learning a brand-new set of unspoken rules

The Emotional Toll

While you’re juggling all of that, there’s also the weight of cultural adjustment. You laugh when others laugh, even if you didn’t catch the joke. You nod when people reference TV shows you’ve never seen. You second-guess every sentence, worried about sounding “too foreign.”

The result? Exhaustion. Not just from studying, but from constantly navigating unspoken rules.

Belonging is the Real Assignment

The hardest part of being an international student in the U.S. isn’t grades, it’s belonging. It’s learning how to exist in a system that wasn’t designed with you in mind. It’s figuring out how to not just survive, but actually feel at home.

And here’s the thing no one tells you: belonging takes more than hard work. It takes community, understanding, and spaces where you don’t have to explain yourself from scratch.

Ten Years Later: What I Wish I Knew Then

Now, almost 10 years later, I’m still navigating life here. But I’ve started asking myself: what do I know now that I wish I knew back then?

I wish I knew that loneliness doesn’t mean failure, it’s actually part of the adjustment process.
I wish I knew that building community takes patience, and that it’s okay to start small. One friend, one group, one routine.
I wish I knew that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s how you start belonging.

I am still learning not to measure my belonging by comparison. You’re not “behind”; you’re building a life that spans two, maybe three worlds.

And here’s the question I want to leave with you:

• If you’ve been here for a while, what would you tell your younger self who first landed in the U.S.?

• If you’re just arriving, what do you most want to know?

Because somewhere between those two perspectives, the advice and the questions, is the real story of what it means to make a life here.